I'm a big "Twilight Zone" fan. Some of the best episodes take place in the future. The most fun part about them is watching how 1950s writers, costume designers, and set decorators predicted what life would be like in the new millennium. Apparently in the future, we all wear generic, uncomfortable clothing,
sit in backless chairs,
and take orders from leftover set pieces from "Lost in Space."
But the one thing I've never seen in a "Twilight Zone" is a society wearing futuristic headgear. Even B-grade science fiction writers of the '50s knew that people would never walk around with technological crap on their faces. It's remarkable because for some reason, Google has decided that this is the future.
Here's why Google is wrong.
First of all, they look really stupid. Second of all, they look really, really stupid. Third of all, they look really, really, really stupid. Fourth of all, they don't look not-stupid. And finally, they look the opposite of good.
I'm not the only one with this opinion. According to The Institute of The Stupid and Silly Technological Undertakings People Invest Dollars, or, I.T.S.S.T.U.P.I.D, Google Glass looks incredibly stupid, especially when worn on the face. Glasses with no lenses and two little arcs on the nose to hold it in place only to accommodate a tiny window on the right eye look universally stupid.
A recent Rackspace and the University of London’s Goldsmiths’ College study found that 40 percent of the U.S. population will not buy Google Glass when it comes out because, you guessed it, they think it looks stupid. 38 percent said they were undecided because they're not sure just how stupid it will look. They think it might not look stupid, but we all know it will look very stupid.
That means that only 22 percent of the U.S. population will buy Google Glass when it's released this fall. These people represent a select demographic in America known as "people too ugly to be afraid to look stupid." But it doesn't take away from the fact that they will still look stupid.
I'm sorry, I know I've been saying Google Glass looks stupid for like four paragraphs now, so I'll talk about more reasons people won't buy it.
One big reason that may be overlooked by most surveys and focus groups is that at the end of the day, people perceive Google Glass as looking pretty damn stupid. Let's not understate how stupid these glasses look. They also look idiotic.
Finally, Google Glass will not catch on because they cost $1,500 each, don't do anything useful, will be awkward to wear, and do not blend seamlessly in peoples daily digital experience.
That, and they also look really f***ing stupid.