Entertainment Opinions

Which Cocktail Represents YOUR Company?

Posted by Meghan Bender on December 31st, 2012 at 1:22 pm

As you're partaking in some holiday cocktails this evening, you may find your self thinking, "What should I have to drink?" Music lovers and fans of Drinkify.org may go to their site, input the music they are listening to, and get a suggestion. Well, say you live in Silicon Valley, or anywhere else that you can live and breathe technology. Have you ever thought, "I wonder what drink would be most representative of my favorite website?" In honor of the holiday weekend and ringing in he new year in style, we decided to explore what drinks represent different tech companies. It’s a fun game, and naturally it’s a bit snarky, so no need to take it personally if you work at say, Zynga...

Let us know what you think about the below and please add your own ideas in the comments section. Have a better drink suggestion for a company we already named? Let us know! You can play this game with anything, not just tech companies; but sports teams, people, etc.

Without further adieu...

1. Google : Jello Shots
Big with the college crowd, you’re not likely to see your grandma throwing ‘em back. While the core idea is simple, all of a sudden the variety seems a bit wild and overwhelming, making you wonder - why are there so many flavors? The traditional fruit flavors definitely get the job done (search, email, maps). When you have too many (Buzz, Wave, Google+) you start to wonder why the host tried all these other flavors, but no one's complaining.

2. Yahoo : The Cosmo
You used to be the belle of the ball, coolly sitting by the bar and drinking from the ridiculously fashioned glass. The layout is all wrong, but your friends all do it and so you do it anyway--it’s the nineties. Sex and the City is a thing. Then all of the sudden, it’s 2012 and no one drinks it anymore and neither do you. In public at least.  Could Marissa Mayer change all that? We certainly hope so.

3. Apple Martini
Aesthetically pleasing, yes. But that’s only half the reason you drink a martini. A good martini is so much more than beauty in the eye of the beholder--you paid good money for it. Hold it with pride, show it off. It makes you instantly cooler, more attractive, more obviously an individualistic free thinker. Look at you. You’re so classy. You drink Martinis.

4. Facebook : Tequila Shots
Your friends do nothing but talk, think, and try to push you into it, but remember; you quit for a reason. You don’t like the person you are with it. You’ve wasted so much time, you’ve hurt relationships with people you love. You can stay strong. You can resist. Be stronger than peer pressure! Be Strong! But no one ever argued that tequila isn’t strong--it is incredibly efficient, with laser-like focus. But whenever you break it out, the night seems to start high, and end on a low note. Not unlike their IPO... Zing!

5. Amazon : Budweiser
Who needs the American Dream of the 1900s with a white picket fence and a beautiful lawn when you’ve got Amazon Prime! The modern day American dream might be using Amazon to order anything from your phone and have it shipped in 2 days for free (movingtosamedaydelivery?!)! Worth a nod to Amazon for their incredible expansion, both US and globally, much like that of Budweiser and their parent company Anheuser Busch

6. eBayBacardi
When you were younger, Bacardi was a little too strong to handle, and you may have often gotten more than you bargained for. As you’ve gotten older, you’ve learned some self control and picked up some tips on just how you should really be enjoying that run (with Coke? in a Mojito? your call!). Much like eBay, whose auction style selling may not have been a bit difficult for the rookies (but a favorite of the pros). Since their inception they have grown from an auction-only interface to an inclusive online marketplace. The introduction of a few new products, like chasers, can make all the difference.

7. Zynga : Jungle Juice
“Yay! I’m having so much fun, ah! I blacked out.” Zynga’s pretty games are created with a do-whatever-it-takes mentality to get new users and build their business. CEO Mark Pincus is notorious for his comments that he just wants to copy other people’s businesses and do it better, and their aggressive growth came from intrusively posting on everyone’s Facebook walls. I’m guessing Pincus and the Samwer brothers were all in the same frat! Just like Jungle Juice, Zynga definitely knows how to make the most out of a situation.

8. Skimlinks : Angostura Bitters
Whenever you get a fabulous drink, you can’t help but try and deconstruct the ingredients. There’s a certain bite to the drink that you can’t name. It’s on the tip of your tongue, and you don’t even realize it’s there, but you love it. Reminds us of Skimlinks, which helps publishers unobtrusively monetize their content.

9. Reddit : Red Bull & Vodka
It seems like such an intuitively good idea--alcohol and energy. Go go go go, up-down vote. Read, vote, down up. People who aren’t power users of Reddit don’t necessarily get it (much like people who don’t rage with Red Bull & Vodka) but once you are hooked, there is no escape. There will be nights you don’t remember, family events you’ll miss, photos you’ll randomly upload only to have what you thought to be a cute baby-holding-a-beer photo going viral. Most don’t even admit they have a problem, they just keep “calm,” and up-vote on.

10. Yelp! : Franzia
Regardless of the place you end up deciding to visit, you’re bound to go have a good time; even though you probably all settled on the  3.5 star/one-$-symbol option (“Ooh, this ones cheap and has mixed reviews! This is the one!”) . With both, what seems like a good idea at the beginning could end between TOTALLY AWESOME and *I'm never doing this again*.  Both will be there for you in a pinch, and should be kept on deck for any night of uncertainty.

11. Spotify : Advocaat
Slowly but surely, America is climbing aboard the hottest thing to come from Europe since the Beatles.
Sweet and smooth with a distinct taste of cream, Advocaat is muscling its way into the cream based drinks, a space usually dominated by the heavy-handed White Russian (iTunes, clearly). But this lightweight cocktail has become somewhat of a trend, and you hope it’s here to stay. Goes especially well with friends.

12. Foursquare : Gin and Tonic
You got a Gin and Tonic for the first time because somebody wanted to tip their cap to you as The Mayor of your neighborhood bar. 25 check ins? Well done, sir. The concepts behind the app and the drink are pretty similar--simple and “addictive”. But it really isn’t that exciting, and yet you catch yourself doing it all the time. Occasionally you might look down and think, “hrmmm, why am I drinking a Gin and Tonic... Meh, it's what the mayor would do."

13. Craigslist : Rum and Coke
Ok, so we get that you are on a low budget, but buying off brand ‘Coke’ and bottom-of-the-shelf rum can be a recipe for disaster.  Be very wary, very hesitant, and whatever you do, no matter how lonely you get, never wander into the ‘Personals’ section. That’s what OKCupid is for, silly.

14. Groupon : Jagerbomb
Always seems like a brilliant idea when you start, but just like the actual Groupons themselves, they are difficult to use and probably not worth as much as you think going in. Yeah, you think that a handle of Jäger and ull is a brilliant investment, until you try it out once... From then on, it sits on the shelf busily collecting dust. Every time you look at it, you feel a twinge of guilt. You should use it--I mean, you paid for it. You’ll use it eventually, you promise yourself. Or you won’t... the Gropuon expires, and you start wondering if there is an interesting parallel between how you feel about Groupons and how Andrew Mason feels about his company (should have sold to Google?).

15. Zirtual : Irish Coffee
It is a commonly accepted fact that coffee is a lifesaving, productivity machine, but even armed with all the coffee in the world, you only have two hands and one brain. That’s where Zirtual walks in--giving you access to a virtual personal assistant, you can be tons more productive. But at the same time, you also feel relaxed and maybe just a bit buzzed. “Wait what? I have time now to do fun things? Impossible!” Oh, but it is possible.

16. Uber : Champagne
Climbing into your own cushy towncar, champagne toasts, what do these things have in common? They’re for ballers, high-rollers, and those that like to feel all-round like a badass. “Hm, I’d like another glass of Möet, please?” “Feel like getting out of here ? Let me call Uber.” In the moment, you embody conspicuous consumption, and you’re loving the looks you get when your Uber SUV pulls up. The next morning though, you look at your credit card statement... and do you regret it? Naw, it was awesome.

17. Wildfire : 4 Loco
Exploding onto the scene like whoa, Wildfire gained incredible traction in only a matter of years as companies rushed to figure out what to do with their social presence. The lubricator of “likes” everywhere, both 4 Loco and Wildfire went from new companies to household names insanely quickly. The only difference being that Wildfire probalby won’t suffer the same fate as 4Loco given that they were recently acquired by Google.

18. YouTube : Sake Bombs
Sake Sake Sake..... BOMB! By far one of the most fun drinks with a group of friends, it can often become a mess and it’s not always clear what the plan is. But nonetheless, everyone still does it, no matter the mess it makes, because it is a guaranteed good time. Even if old people think it’s just cats on skateboards, we know it’s so much more than that. P.s. I like turtles.

19. Twitter : PBR
Hipsters love it and no one else seems to understand why its popular even if 500 million people get on it once in awhile. Oh wait, that’s because occasionally it can be freakin’ amazing. Like whenever Ron Artest tweets, or celebrities have battles on Twitter.

20. Pinterest : Long Island Iced Tea
Strong and built out of a huge variety of ingredients, both Pinterest and Long Islands are staples in their respective categories of social discovery and cocktails. Tasty and smooth, Long Islands emulate Pinterest's snazzy interface. It can be a slippery slope though; have more than a few (or spend too much time on Pinterest) and you can kiss your night good bye. Bartender's tip: Try it with bitters.

What cocktail represents YOUR company? Post it in the comments section!

Images used under Creative Commons by Flickr users Unhindered by Talentwonderyort, and Growinnc

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About the Authors:

Aaron is Director of Marketing at Skimlinks. His favorite drinks are the ones that give him energy and craziness at the same time, so think Redbull Vodka, and Irish Coffees.

Meghan is the Marketing Coordinator at Skimlinks. If you see her out at one of San Francisco's many dives, order her a Whiskey Ginger.

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